My Child is Waking Up & I Feel Unprepared

How do I tell my child what happened?

Navigating the emotional and complex journey of helping a cardiac arrest survivor understand their situation can be a daunting experience for close family members. This situation is even more complex because the child may not have the understanding to grasp what happened. They were there through it all, but may not remember, and now they are waking up feeling scared, with their lives changed in ways they can’t fully comprehend.

As the parent or caregiver of a child who experienced cardiac arrest, you may face the challenge of explaining to your child what has happened to them when they awakened in the hospital. This conversation can be emotional, confusing, and difficult, but it is essential to help your child understand their situation in the most simplest manner. Based on our experiences, we recommend approaching this conversation with empathy, sensitivity, and support. Also, please ask for some support from your healthcare team.

• • Waking up after a cardiac arrest can be confusing and overwhelming. Approach the situation with empathy and compassion, and do not feel you need to have all the answers. Remember that you and your child may be experiencing a range of emotions as you have both suffered your own trauma. 
  • Expect the unexpected. It’s hard to predict how your child’s brain will function when they awaken and in the following days. During this uncertain period, they may have difficulty recognizing or understanding you, or they might repeatedly ask the same questions. This can be normal. Their care team, including doctors, nurses, child life specialists, and potentially rehabilitation specialists, will be your best source of information regarding their brain recovery.
  • Be patient, calm, and reassuring. When speaking to your child, maintain a gentle tone of voice and use short, simple sentences that are easy to understand. Avoid overwhelming them with too much information at once, and give them time to process and respond. Be patient with them and yourself. Make sure to communicate that they are safe, you are there, and you love them.  
  • Remind your child of your relationship. You could say, “Hi, [child name] it’s me, [mommy/daddy/nana/grandpa/etc.]. I’m so glad you’re waking up.” Then, check how they’re feeling, and offer words of support and encouragement.
  • Be honest and avoid medical jargon. While it’s important to be truthful about their condition and the treatment they’re receiving, try to avoid using medical jargon or technical terms that could be confusing. Explain their situation in plain language that is age-appropriate, and let them know that their care team is doing everything possible to help them recover. For example: “Hi, [child name]. It’s mommy. Dad is here, too. You’re in the hospital because your heart had trouble, but it’s working again. The nurses and doctors are taking care of you, and we’re here with you as well.”
  • Address their physical sensations and concerns. Your child may be bothered by various physical sensations as they awaken, such as the presence of a breathing tube, intravenous line, or urinary catheter. Reassure them that these sensations are normal and that they are safe. For instance: “[child name], you’re okay. The feeling in your mouth is your breathing tube. You’re safe. Just breathe. Your heart had trouble, but you’re okay now. You’re in the hospital, and you’re waking up.”
  • Listen to their questions and concerns. If your child can speak, they may have questions or express concerns. Listen to them and respond to the best of your ability, but remember that you do not have to know all the answers. It is perfectly acceptable to say, “I don’t know, but we can ask your doctor or nurse when they return.” They might have questions or fears about what has happened to them, and you can offer reassurance and comfort as they process their emotions.
  • You can bring familiar things to your child. Some children find it helpful to be surrounded by their favorite stuffed animals, a blanket or quilt from home, and pictures of their friends, family, and pets. If your child can read, parent or caregiver can also use the patient whiteboard available in the hospitals to answer frequent (repetitive) questions and to establish the timeline of events leading up to the present moment. Try this, especially during long stays in the hospital.

In summary, informing your child about their cardiac arrest upon awakening can be challenging. Approach the situation with patience, empathy, and compassion for your child and yourself. Remember to lean on the support of their care team and others around you. By providing a caring, supportive, and understanding environment, you can help your child begin their journey toward recovery.

Sources

Paul, M., Bougouin, W., Geri, G., Dumas, F., Champigneulle, B., Legriel, S., Carpentier, J., Mire, J.P., Sandroni, C., & Cariou, A. (2016). Delayed awakening after cardiac arrest: prevalence and risk factors in the Parisian registry. Intensive Care Medicine, 42(7), 1128–1136. doi:10.1007/s00134-016-4349-9

Rossetti, A. O., Rabinstein, A. A., & Oddo, M. (2016). Neurological prognostication of outcome in patients in coma after cardiac arrest. The Lancet Neurology, 15(6), 597–609. doi:10.1016/s1474-4422(16)00015-6

Thank you to our contributors

Alessandra Dinin & Matthew Douma