Key Takeaways

    • Acknowledge that your life is different now
    • Develop a support system and share responsibilities
    • Celebrate the small victories
    • Remember yourself and your relationships
    • Strengthen your mental health
How do I find a new normal following my child’s cardiac arrest?

After your child’s cardiac arrest, life as you know it will be different. Where you may have previously been concerned with meal planning and after-school sports and activities, you now have to manage medications, doctors’ appointments, therapies, and so much more. At the same time, you have a lot of big feelings. You may feel guilty, confused, thankful, angry, resentful, appreciative, overwhelmed, or even lost. And, you may feel all of these things at once or not at all. This experience is emotionally and physically exhausting. Be kind to yourself and consider these recommendations for navigating your new normal. 

Acknowledge that your life is different now

Unfortunately, we cannot go back in time, and comparing life before and after an event can be harmful to you. Some people who go through a traumatic event like a cardiac arrest start to frame their experience as two separate lives: their life before the cardiac arrest and their life after the cardiac arrest. It is ok to mourn the old life or the things that you were envisioning for the future that are not going to happen now, but it is important to accept and acknowledge that life is different now.

Working with your co-parent/partner/spouse

If you have a co-parent/partner/spouse, find ways to talk about and share your child’s cardiac arrest experience and your child’s new needs. In what ways do you both need to be present and engaged and in what ways can you divide and conquer? For example, one person may focus on caregiving tasks, while the other manages medical appointments and looks into treatment options. Establishing a clear division of labor reduces stress and ensures mutual support within the relationship. Clear communication is also critical – share your fears, hopes, and frustrations openly and be an active listener when they do the same. Appreciate that there is no right way to go through this experience. Consider yourself and your co-parent/partner/spouse as a team and think about how you can support one another throughout this process.

Build an external support system

Managing your child’s care is a big responsibility, but you do not have to handle it alone. It is important to reach out for additional support during this time. Your external support team can include family and friends who can assist with tasks like transportation and meal preparation, as well as provide emotional support. In case you need to step away, you will feel better if you are not the only one who knows about your child’s medical needs and what to do in an emergency. Connecting with other co-survivors of cardiac arrest can also help normalize your experiences and provide valuable resources. Your healthcare team can also provide resources or suggestions to navigate your new normal.

Celebrate the small victories

Anyone who has a child who has had a cardiac arrest can appreciate the fragility of life, but it is still very easy to get bogged down with all the things that feel hard or like they are not going right. Identify the milestones (big or small) relevant to your new normal–a stable heartbeat, finding the right medication, leaving the ICU, or just getting through a particularly tough day– and celebrate them. Shower your child, yourself, and your family with love and appreciation for each step of this new life.

Remember yourself and your relationships

Self-care is not selfish, and you will be a much better caregiver if you are healthy. Be sure to take breaks from your caregiving responsibilities. Continue with the activities that bring you joy and keep you happy and healthy. This can be as small as taking a moment to sit outside, reading a book, or drinking a cup of tea. 

Remember your relationships with the important people in your life. Co-surviving a cardiac arrest can feel lonely and isolating. Try to share your experiences with others but also try to stay informed and connected about their lives. Nurture these relationships and find ways to connect with those important people away from your child and away from caregiving. Ensuring that you have an external network in place will help you be able to do this. Your child’s cardiac arrest is one element of your life, but it is not the only element of your life.

Strengthen your mental health

Journaling and note-taking can help you process and keep track of your experiences. Speaking with loved ones and members of your support system can also help you cope with your new normal. After your child’s cardiac arrest you, your child, your co-parent/partner/spouse, or even your entire family may need additional, professional mental health support. A mental health practitioner can help you process your experience, strengthen your communication and advocacy, and learn effective strategies for dealing with your new normal. Contact your child’s healthcare team for recommendations on finding a mental health practitioner. 

Even though it might not always feel like it, you are strong and resilient for going through this experience. Try to embrace this new normal, find strength in hardship, and appreciate the moments of joy, connection, and community during this challenging time. You have got this.

Thank you to our contributors

Alessandra Dinin & Katherine Allen

We Appreciate Your Feedback

Please leave any feedback you have regarding the content of this article. Have you found it helpful? What would you change or like to see differently?

Views: 8